Freedom

“I feel a prompting by God to share what He has been doing in my life.

I have been having an on-again, off-again struggle with smoking marijuana for the past 3 years and an on-again, off-again relationship with God since I got saved 13 years ago.

On September 24, I gave up smoking marijuana. I had a college internship starting in November and wanted to pass the drug test, if one was given. This time, though, God put a friend from New York back in my life. I began to realize that I needed to stop smoking because I really wanted to have a closer relationship with God. My life, in my eyes was horrible, since I chose not to have God be a part of it. My smoking had turned into an addiction that was eating at me every day. On most days, the desire to continue this sin would consume my every thought. I would think horrible things. I was angry about everything and at everyone, especially God, for my life not being what I wanted it to be.

This past week, God used my friend who has been very compassionate, loving and encouraging to me for the past 4 weeks to help me see Him for the first time. She had been writing to me through email that everything I was experiencing was my choice. I was choosing to be angry, sad and miserable. I was allowing the enemy to control these emotions and that these emotions were not from God. God wants to help me overcome this struggle and guide me through life. My friend’s emails changed suddenly to where she had enough of my moaning and groaning about how life is so bad. She told me, or rather God told me through her, to stop with the woe is me and that the pity party had to come to an end. She critiqued my emails, showing me how they were full of negativity and how the enemy was tricking me into believing the lies I was writing. I really could not see it until I re-read what I had written. All of a sudden, the cloud of darkness that had been covering my heart and mind was gone. The blinders that the enemy had placed on me were removed.

Monday, the 31st of October, will be 5 weeks since I stopped smoking. That all-consuming desire to smoke – to get high – is no longer there. I can see God now. I know He never left me, but I had chosen to walk away from Him.

Now, I’m trusting God with my life – one day at a time.”

-“Freedom” by Theresa, 10/11

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