Speak with Fire

I’ll never be the same again!

That was me from this weekend. Living almost a full year of being in fear of something. Something that was spoken over me in March and then again it was confirmed when I sought out prayer.

That word was first spoken to me March 2015 in a conference I attended. On that day when I was prayed over, I was told to stop being afraid and lead like Debra. So from that day on, I sought out all I could on Debra, and frankly there isn’t that much information on that in the Book of Judges. I wanted more information and still only a small passage is spoken about her. Shortly thereafter, after one of our sermons I went to the prayer team to request prayer, I didn’t
know why, I was looking for healing, just needed something. During that prayer again I heard to stop being a frightened little girl.

I could ask Papa God to reveal to me why am I so fearful, what am I afraid of? But that too I was so afraid to do, because I was afraid of what He may tell me. I was so deceived for over 10 months of this stronghold of this fear. A frightened little girl even too fearful to ask. I was deceived, until this weekend.

Fast forward now to October 2015, that is when I received an email about a conference, a Christian Conference for woman. I had a pang in my heart, I felt Holy Spirit upon me. I knew something big was going to happen to me. So I purchased my tickets and waited until the big day, which was this past Saturday January 30, 2016. I didn’t go asking for anything because I already knew God was going to show me something. I already knew I wouldn’t leave that conference without something. I felt it for three months that this was going to change me forever for even in the theme of this conference name ‘Dare to Be’ had power.

Now last Wednesday (January 27, 2016) during a prayer training session that I participated in we were being taught how to listen for Holy Spirit and speak a word that He gives us for the other person we were teamed up with. The person who was speaking life over me asked God to show me something new. I was blessed with seeing a key hole, a key hole that I was peeking through, all I could see is the prettiest clear blue sky. I know that the color blue represents God’s deep, deep love He has for me, for each one of us. This I know because God has been revealing colors and their meanings to me. So as I’m excited to see the color blue as I was
peeking through the key hole, I knew there was more, but I was fearful to ask God what that meant nor did I want to do it at that particular moment.

So I waited until I got home and just as I was getting ready for bed I asked the question, that dreaded question ‘What does that mean?’

God said to me, ‘Why are you peeking into the key hole when you can open it up for all of My Kingdom? Stop being afraid and walk through.’

Still I felt that really wasn’t the ‘why’ or the ‘what is it’ that I was looking for. So I went deeper…

Papa what am I afraid of? Failing.
Papa how can I overcome this? Trust, for I am with you – Wherever you go, I will go.
Thank you Papa! Papa I want to walk through that door and discover more with you.

Immediately after this I was also reminded of the word ‘renewal hope’ that was also spoken over me earlier that evening in our prayer training application. I got a sense that renewal of hope will be found in opening up the Kingdom doors. Still, I truly never asked God what I was afraid of. I skirted around that question allowing myself to be deceived while I continued to live in this fear.

Just two days later (Friday) followed and I received a reminder from God that I didn’t ask the question I have been avoiding. It was shown to me during work through an icon for virus protection. It was a key hole. This key hole was positioned inside a circle, within a circle, within another circle. The rounded top portion of this key hole was at the center of the inner circle where the elongated portion of the key hole was at the bottom of the last circle. I asked God what does that mean and He told me that around that key hole are my arms. Wow, God’s arms! The key hole is secured by God. And after all that I still was living in fear of asking
the question, what am I afraid of?

On this past Saturday, I traveled to PA with three companions to our woman’s conference ‘Dare to Be’ and the first two things Holy Spirit spoke to me through the conference were these two questions:
Why am I hiding?
Why am I afraid?

During the first break I share with my best friend (because that was one of my companions for this conference, cool right?) my take away thus far. Those two questions ‘Why am I hiding’ and ‘Why am I afraid.’ She simply replied why don’t you just ask Papa God. Wow I thought that would be the easy thing to do, but I responded with because I’m afraid of what the answer may be. So, you would rather be bonded in fear? You see I have been sensing that God has been preparing me for public speaking but there I too denied God using me for greater things. Using me for only what I’m comfortable in doing. I have a voice, one that I haven’t fully learned to love, accept that God uses the ordinary and makes us extraordinary to showHis Glory.

By the end of the conference I knew God was going to use me in a mighty way. I knew this day I would be different, I was giving a Dare to Be Known as….. To leave my old self, to come deeper, deeper, deeper!

Throughout this conference God was revealing dreams and visions, images, experiences, revelations all within the past year. There was freedom, grace, mercy. I was seeing, feeling, sensing, recognizing just how powerful God is, but I also sensed in my spirit that I haven’t seen it anything yet. God is so powerful! Glory be to You O Lord, power and Glory is Yours.

After the conference my friend said she was given a word and is going out on a limb to see if the word was either for her or me ‘speak with fire’, although at the time I didn’t know what it meant but had a sense that I would when I go to sleep that night.

I finally asked that question before going to bed that night:
Afraid of what Lord? Of getting up and using your voice.
Using my voice for what Lord? To publicly spread My Word.
Hiding behind what Lord? Your desk top.

During Sunday sermon (01/31/16) Pastor Markus had made a reference to Debra and I Knew God wasn’t done with me because although I knew what I was hiding from, I still didn’t know how I was going to ‘lead like Debra’.

That wasn’t revealed to me until Sunday night during testimonies. I was prompted by Holy Spirit to share this story, to share my story, my testimony throughout this past year. I was delivered, and God will receive His Glory. The word spoken to me just that night before ‘Speak with Fire’ has transpired. God used me in a mighty way. God loves me in a Mighty way! I will never be the same again!

God is relentless. He will deliver each one of us. Set us on Fire!

 

 

-“Speak with Fire” by Janine, 04/16

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